I am sitting here in front of the computer, working. the house is quiet, the coffee is hot and i am day dreaming.
many changes have happened for me over the last year or so. ok so there have been lots of changing for many years, but recently it feels like changes are coming fast and faster. it is amazing how things can change so quickly. i have always been happy and content in my comfort zone (ok, not really. but that is another blog post. i felt safe in my comfort zone). lately i have been stepping out of that bubble, following my interest and my heart. i am saying yes to opportunities presented to me and that has made the biggest difference. so here in the silence of the morning, my me time, i contemplate all the changes and challenges. reaching out to things i have been called to, I’ve always thought and dreamed of doing. it’s rather exciting and for one of the first times ever i am not afraid to leave the comfort zone, i am not afraid of the changes or the challenges. the feelings i had felt before, stomach ache, headache, out-and-out fear, are no longer there. ok there is a little bit of fear, but the good kind that gets you prepared and excited for the new.
in the next few weeks and months I know that we will be shifting into something new and different. something that will change the direction (slightly) from where we are now and shift our life onto a new path. i will take the initial steps
with trepidation, anticipation, and great excitement. no longer will I hid in the safety of the comfort zone.
Living in Michigan the weather can be unpredictable. warm, rainy and windy in February and snow, freezing temperatures and ice in march. it is what it is. i’m ready for spring!
the cold weather has made it easier to get my business inside he house done. there has been so much going on and coming up for my green cauldron. somethings are still in the works and i will hold off on those announcements until the time is right. BUT my green cauldron has launch an Etsy store (my green cauldron) for lotions, lip balms and teas! it is exciting to see and have so many love the lotion i make. it is slow going here in the beginning though. waiting for a sale (I’ve had one through the store). i never realized just how much there is to do to sell something you make online. it is a BIG learning curve, that means i am having a great time. i love diving and learning something new.
i am also very excited about all the ideas flowing forth for My Green Cauldron. i think the point has come in my journey that i am stepping out of the comfort zone and doing what i have always wanted! i want to open up our home/space to our friends for workshops, art, music, tribe/community gatherings. this cold weather is putting a bit of a damper on that. Josh and i have got a couple of things scheduled (hula hoop making and mushroom log inoculation) and i am extra excited about it. plans for re-doing the pole barn are in the making so that we can host more people here.
so over the next few weeks/months we will be expanding our offerings, growing slowly and organically to become something i have been dreaming about.
Over the weekend i invited some friends over to create art. Not just any art but intention setting mandalas! the new moon occurred this weekend also, a powerful one. on my journey i am trying to be more mindful of the cyclic way of the things. I am exploring the moon cycle as a way of being more focus on the intentions/goals/growth that i have in the upcoming month. not only will following the phases of the moon help me see the progress of my goals and journey, the power of the moon cycle and phases themselves can help with the manifestation.
The new moon phase of the lunar cycle is the time to set your intentions. you can do this in many ways from writing a manifestation list to creating art. this month i chose to create art. Not just any art but mandalas (gosh i love those things!!). intention setting mandalas. i love this project. the first one i did was for mandala magic, setting our intentions for the course over the next year.
i invited some friends to join me in this powerful new moon to set our intentions for the next month. i took a couple of pictures but it was so much fun chatting and creating with two of my close friends. powerful.
it’s always interesting to see what ends up in your collage, what messages you can pick out for yourself from yourself.
mandalas are powerful.
circling is powerful.
art is powerful.
When women circle and create with purpose, powerful things happen.
i am learning to live without perfectionism. it’s baggage that i was given a long time ago to carry. lately it has been my journey to release myself from the ideas/opinions of perfect and enjoy the process of creating with abandon. one of my latest creations is a pair of pants.
i have a favorite pair of pants that are falling apart. they were quite an expensive pair, hand made by ladies in the US with organic cotton……you get the picture. well they looked pretty simple to make but i didn’t have a pattern. then i had this crazy thought (for me it’s pretty wild), i don’t need a pattern proper, i have the pants. they are like wide leg yoga pants. i had some organic cotton lying around (yes, i know, i know but i did!) and decided to put it to use and try to make a pair. here’s how it went!
i did use pins to hold the waistband onto the pants, just to make sure that the seams lined up. i never did put hems in the cuffs. the material is like t-shirt material and it doesn’t fray, it only rolls! awesome! these are now a pair of my favorite pants. (just a side note, i hand dyed these also!!)
this just wasn’t a one time thing either. i had enough fabric to make 2 pairs!! i dyed that fabric and used the same process to make the second pair. so much fun. i need to order more fabric now!!
it is February in Michigan. it is suppose to be cold, snowy, dreary. with gray days and routine. but not today….today it was beautiful, sunny and over sixty, 60!! we spent a majority of the day outside, feigning chores and work but really just soaking in the warm of the sun. it wasn’t that long ago that we had a spell of over a week without any sunshine at all. to say that the sun and warmth was a welcome delight would be understating how glorious this day was, in the middle of February in Michigan. the warm day gave me a chance to walk bare foot in the garden, the paths mushy and cold. carelessly i walked over where my nettle patch usually spreads out i was reminder to be mindful for the sting. looking closely i could see small nettle leaves taking the same advantage of the warm sunlight.
As i began to pay a little bit more mind to the garden itself i noticed that the nettles weren’t the only ones green and soaking in the sun. Parsley, Strawberries and spinach were green and growing. it is so exciting to see. In the back of my mind though, i hear the whisper…’it’s only February, too soon’.
i also checked on our new (last spring) fruit tree. They are all looking well, some with buds starting to swell. i am excited to see that they are healthy and growing, but again the whisper ‘it’s too soon, only February’.
the next week here in Michigan is suppose to be well above average. i will enjoy the warmer weather and the clear roads. i will also be whispering to the plants, it’s too soon, only Funerary, not yet!
taking responsibility for your own actions seems like one of the hardest things for people to do, right next to saying you are sorry for any of your own actions! just recently i had to humble myself and apologize for the actions and remarks that i made. at first i didn’t want to and tried (in my head) to make an excuse and to point the finger at another trying to place the wrong doing on some one else. so what’s the story, right? well here it is. my husband came home one evening to find that our eldest son (12) made a big mess taking out the trash. he hadn’t tied the bag before tossing it into (upside down no less) into an already full trash bin. garbage everywhere and more to fall out when the bin was moved to the road. needless to say my husband was upset and hollered at our eldest to come outside with him. when they both came in my son was mad and said that he would no longer take trash out. well i REACTED and when my husband came in i yelled. i was upset. needless to say that he got upset at me too. we went to bed mad. ugh! i was mad the next day and i actually kept thinking about it. thinking about how he handle the situation with our son, how are son reacted and my REACTION to what happened. well after muttering to myself all day and drawing cards to gain a some sort of new view i made a realization. i had NO IDEA what happened outside between my husband and my son. no idea what happened and i assumed the worst and REACTED. so when my husband came home i had to gather up my courage and strength (because taking responsibility for my actions and apologizing is some scary shit sometimes!) to tell him i was wrong (and why i was wrong) and to say i am sorry. I’m sorry, that’s it, no excuses, no explanations. i was in the wrong and i owned it. it wasn’t easy, it was quite hard but it was the right thing for me to do.
there are a couple of things that i learned here. taking personal responsibility for my bad behavior is hard! own it is harder and saying sorry for it is the hardest. but it is also awesome. after taking responsibility for my poor behavior (for my reaction) i was able to look back (without my REACTION, at this point) and learn from the mistakes that i made and hopefully make a better decision in the future. i believe my husband appreciate it too. by taking responsibility and saying sorry i showed him how much he means to me and that i love and trust him to do the right things (even if he handles things differently than i would).
there is another thing i would like to mention here, it’s about REACTION. the knee jerk response to situations around you. in my experience i have found that reaction comes from a place of habit or from a rut. you are not thinking about it, it just comes out. for me it usually comes out in the form of anger (that anger of mine can be quick to jump). but it is then that i am not acting mindfully, i am allowing my assumptions control how i engage the situation and most of the time in hindsight it is not the way i would choose to act (and i have to apologize for overstepping boundaries).
i’m no saint but i have been working hard lately to become more mindful in my life, to act from a place of love. so when i do feel the anger bubbling up (because i am never going to be rid of anger or any bad feelings) i really dive into why. where is it coming from and do i really want my anger to cause my REACTION, or i can take a moment (or ten, i don’t have to engage immediately) to gather myself and act mindfully. it isn’t easy, some times i have to learn the lesson in hindsight (like the one above) but everyday i get a little closer to getting away from reaction and more into mindful action.
so my latest obsession in the bullet journal. i have always wanted to be a planner sort of person and now i have found a way to make it work for me, bullet journals. just since to first of the year it has become my art journal, my BOS, my daily planner, my commonplace book and my list holder (and there are a lot of lists to hold!).
while i could type up a big long description, it would be more fun to show you in pictures.
so here we go: