for those of you who don’t know, I am taking a year-long workshop that uses mandala and the great round to go through the archetypal stages. we are on the 4th month which in entitled Beginning and it deals with the mother archetype. The first three months of the course i blissfully created through. Effervescent with the energy of the very beginning of life. this month though is completely different. the energy that come up from watching (i hadn’t even done the exercises for myself yet) was forceful and highly charged. it had me moving.
now this isn’t the first time that I have delved into my past relationships with my family. I have a lot of things to work through still and I see this as just a progress deeper into my issues, not a regression back. what surprised me was the intensity of the emotions. there were so many strong feelings, my thoughts were racing and my emotions were taking control. no creating this time, no journal writing, no meditating or book reading. this energy was pushing for movement, real, body pushing movement. it’s funny because a few days early i was reading an article somewhere (I’ll look for it) but it was talking about how emotion is actually energy in motion. for some reason this was the best thing for me to hear at that moment. i didn’t know what to do with all the energy/emotion that was brought up by this phase of Mandala Magic. all i know is that i had to move, forcefully, purposefully.
thankfully I had just the perfect job. last fall our neighbor cut down a bunch of oak trees on her property (it was a sad week that it happen). she gave us a lot of the wood, A LOT. we brought it over to our yard and left it for the winter, but it needed to be split and stacked pretty badly. 2 days and one cord of wood split and stacked later, i was able to move that emotion. i cried on half of the cord and pushed my body to the limit on the other half. i wrote in my journal and create a mandala for Mandala Magic, not of the usual caliber but a start. This aspect of my journey is one that i will continue to re-visit, i have a lot of stuff to go through to sort out my emotions when it comes to my family and my childhood. we all do. and it will manifest at the most unexpected times and how you get through them can be unexpected too. for me and this spiral, that wood pile was a great way to move my emotion, to help deal with the explosive energy that came this time around. i still have a big pile of wood ou there to split and stack but i made a big dent in the pile. i also took a few more steps down my path of healing.